Preparing for Mom and Dad's 50th Wedding Anniversary

As I prepare for Mom and Dad's 50th. I think to myself, "MAN, 50 YEARS IS A LONG TIME TO BE WITH SOMEONE!" Us kids laugh and ask them "how did you sleep in the same bed with someone for 50 years!!!" Their comments will not be recorded on this blog!

When I look at Mom and Dad, I realize true love does exist. Even after the bickering, disagreements, (we never saw as kids-thank you mom and dad) my parents have weathered every storm possible. They have won and lost many battles, raised 5 incredibly awesome children who sometime in their own lives had their own battles. They gave us a home full of love. My parents taught me that love does exist and to never settle. Last year, I remember Emilee sitting by my mom as my mom was discussing something with Dad and Dad kissing her goodbye". Emilee looks at her and says "Nana, you are married to Papa?" Mom laughs...she says "Yes, silly, what do you think?" Emilee says "You were kissing!!! ah!" I will remember that day forever as it was a moment that we all laughed about as so many kids don't have any idea about marriage.

I have learned so much from mom and dad. With all this in my mind, wow, I have never settled, nor will I. I believe someday I will live happily ever after. I may not have 50 years, and that is okay. I have learned that I am the only one who can create my own happiness and dreams, but I sure do know that having someone else in my world who is seeking the same would be a wonderful feeling. Treat me right....Everyone deserves someone who will treat them with respect, unconditional love and honesty. I don't need a big house or materialistic "things" - that means squat to me. I do need a love that is kind, honest, true...a love that will get through anything no matter how many times it may feel like it is failing.

Many years ago, Mom gave me this poem framed and I hold it close to me as I can relate in so many ways:

I Have Learned.....

I've learned -
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is
be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.

I've learned -
that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.

I've learned -
that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned -
that it's not what you have in your life

I've learned -
that you can get by on charm
for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned -
that you shouldn't compare
yourself to the best others can do
but to the best you can do.

I've learned -
that it's not what happens to people
that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned -
that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.

I've learned -
that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be

I've learned -
that it's a lot easier
to react than it is to think.

I've learned -
that you should always leave
loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned -
that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.

I've learned -
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I've learned -
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.

I've learned -
that heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I've learned -
that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned -
that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned -
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned -
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned -
that sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned -
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I've learned -
that just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to doesn't mean
they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned -
that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned -
that you should never tell a child
their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating, and
what a tragedy it would be
if they believed it.

I've learned -
that your family won't always
be there for you. It may seem funny,
but people you aren't related to
can take care of you and love you
and teach you to trust people again.
Families aren't biological.

I've learned -
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you
every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned -
that it isn't always enough
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn
to forgive yourself.

I've learned -
that no matter how bad
your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned -
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned -
that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned -
that sometimes you have to put
the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned -
that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

I've learned -
that two people can look
at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

I've learned -
that there are many ways of falling
and staying in love.

I've learned -
that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves
get farther in life.

I've learned -
that your life can be changed
in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.

I've learned -
that even when you think
you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

I've learned -
that writing, as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.

I've learned -
that the paradigm we live in
is not all that is offered to us.

I've learned -
that credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned -
that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.

I've learned -
that although the word "love"
can have many different meanings,
it loses value when overly used.

I've learned -
that it's hard to determine
where to draw the line
between being nice and
not hurting people's feelings
and standing up for what you believe.

So as this marks the beginning of preparing for their 50th Wedding Anniversary shabang' on April 29th, I am reminded how lucky I am to have my parents, and my family. I have been blessed with the opportunity to watch their marriage grow, watch them disagree, laugh and call each other names, for better or worse, they may not have it together, but together they have it all.



Now that I am old enough to understand and appreciate and understand relationships, I joke with my mom and dad about how long they have been married (sometimes the jokes are not very funny) and question HOW they ever made it this long! You hear dad crack jokes about mom's strengths and her imperfections. Vice versa. When I call dad out, he says "why aren't you married yet!!!" And I always say because I haven't found Mr. Right and no one meets my check list of the ideal mate....wow! really!

I have watched their marriage through the years. Blessed is all I can say. Maybe this is why every summer growing up they went to the fair to see Kenny Rogers and danced to "Through The Years"....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQuRtbx1qOQ

Here's to you ma and pa....and here is my ideal mate checklist! (wait for it) and NOTE: These are NOT in ANY order......

• Loves/Wants Kids
  
• Can have fun and laugh
• Flexible
• Honest
• Loves his job
• Can handle any of life’s challenges
• Includes me in his decisions
• Can pick me up when I am down
• Clean/Organized
• Loves his mom and sister(s)
• Drugfree
• Romantic
• Like my Dad (similar)
• Not afraid to cry
• Can hold the fort when I am not around
• Somewhat handy!
• Can cook, clean and do laundry
• Appreciates the simple things in life
• Can stay at home or do nothing or get me fancy and take me on the town
• Appreciates family and friendships
• Loves me unconditionally. Loves Em like his own.
• Supports my dreams
• Tells me I am “out of my mind” when I am not thinking straight
• Can bring the best out in me
• Can say “I love you” and mean it

I am forgetting something, I am sure..... I am sure Mom can clarify. I will keep you posted...